| 024. 4 may 1998 |
[04 May 2012|07:05pm] |
WARDED TO HANNAH AND CASSIA.So my dad's okay. He's at St. Mungo's. We'll probably be here as much as they let us.
I'm okay too, I just wasn't writing much, because he got out yesterday, so we were busy and Mum's coming back today from Jordan.
You guys are both okay, right?
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| 023. 30 April 1998 |
[30 Apr 2012|12:30pm] |
WARDED TO HANNAH AND SUSAN.I don't know if you read Megan's entry, but...apparently some shite is going to go down. We hope you two know better than to do anything stupid like come out or something...but just in case, please don't. And maybe tell the people who would be more likely to do something like that not to. That's why the Carrows are doing this, so it will only make things worse if something bad happens to us and we give them exactly what they want. If we're going to get punished, I'd rather the Carrows feel angry and unaccomplished in the end than happy that their stupid evil plot worked.
But maybe don't tell them before it happens, if you think that'll make them just go off? I don't really know. Just somehow try to make sure no one does, because that will suck even more.
I hope you're both okay.
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| 022. 23 April 1998 |
[23 Apr 2012|12:15am] |
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Does anyone even go here anymore? What the hell.
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| 021. 17 April 1998 |
[17 Apr 2012|06:55pm] |
I hope you're all bloody well satisfied with where your mindless hatred of muggleborns has gotten us. If Demelza Robins being put in Azkaban doesn't make you realise how fucking pointless and just...just, I don't know, evil all of this is, then I guess you really do believe all this shite about stealing magic and muggleborns being dangerous, even knowing we've all been safely living with them for how many hundreds of years? And if you do, I'm sorry, you're a fucking moron and I really don't care what you think about anything, because you're out of your fucking mind if you think people can steal magic.
But I think the worst part of it is how pointlessly cruel all of this is. Does it really make anyone's life that much better that Demelza's gone? No. Even if you didn't like her, I bet it doesn't really make that much of a difference to you. It just makes her friends and family fucking miserable beyond belief, and you're making her and them and all these people suffer for no fucking reason and no matter how all of this ends up you're going to have to pay for it in someway. There are just too many people who have been hurt by this hateful shite and had their lives destroyed and if you don't think all that misery and negative energy won't come back to you somehow, then I don't know. I guess you're also an idiot since you think you're goddamn indestructible. And I know it's not like any of us caused this, so I don't necessarily mean us, and obviously when I said "you all" I don't literally mean you all since thank fucking Merlin you aren't all purists and most of you are pretty sane with that stuff. I mean the "big people", mainly, the fucks at the Ministry and on the Muggleborn Registration Commission who are fucking adults and should fucking know better, but they can't read this and I think I really just need to say it somewhere, besides in my own head, how fucked up I think all of this is and how I hate it and how it's a bloody nightmare.
I know I'm probably not making much sense, but it's wrong what happened to her and everyone else, okay? It's just fucking wrong.
And yeah, I know I'm probably in trouble now. But Seamus is right. This sort of shite needs to be said. It really makes me sick that she's in there for no reason and that everyone who's in there by now is pretty much in there for no reason and a lot of them probably won't come out and that's it and- 
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| 020. 16 April 1998 |
[16 Apr 2012|05:38pm] |
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I was a little bit uncertain if the oppression of muggles was a good/feasible idea, but after Carrow's lecture on the weapons of mass destruction that they have at their disposal, I'm totally convinced that this pursuit will likely end well for us.
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| 019. 11 April 1998 |
[11 Apr 2012|12:59am] |
WARDED TO ELOISE.I know this won't really make you feel better, but I am so sorry, and if there's anything, literally anything I can do for you or Maude, let me know.
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| 018. 23 March 1998 |
[23 Mar 2012|08:52pm] |
WARDED PRIVATE.Well, guess this is it, huh? WARDED TO SEVENTH YEAR PUFFS + NEVILLE.I just want to tell you guys that you're all awesome friends. I don't know how I'd make it through this year without all of you. So thanks.
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| 017. 19 March 1998 |
[19 Mar 2012|06:42pm] |
WARDED PRIVATE.Whatever qualms Mum had about leaving sure went out the window with that leaflet. I told her it was all pretty much true, I mean, what's the point in lying when we're all set to go anyway? Might as well have her feel more confident about what she's doing, and I think maybe it is the right thing to do after all. Obviously she suspected things were dreadful, but now that she knows pretty much exactly what's going on, she said she'd be reluctant to send me back even for a few months, and Brielle would have to go back for two years. There's no way she can go back for two years, with things getting progressively worse, and Mum says the longer we wait to leave the country, the more difficult it will be, so I guess there's no time like the present.
Mum's leaving tomorrow, there's some conference in Jordan that she was given permission to attend, but she seems nervous having me and Brielle go by ourselves. What if something goes wrong? Our excuse is total bull shit if we run into any officials- we're going to tell them that we're meeting our Mum in Amman to spend Easter Sunday as a family in Jerusalem. But they won't buy that, or they won't even care what we're doing. I guess the thing is to think positive and hope that we don't run into anyone. Brielle and I are leaving on Saturday. Technically, we are using an authorized portkey- the issue is that it's only been authorized by the Jordanian Ministry and not ours. It's leaving from Godric's Hollow, so we're taking the floo to some restaurant first. I was hoping somewhere more remote, but this is already illegal, so we can't ask Mum's friend to stick his neck out even more and risk breaking the statue of secrecy if muggles see us.
Bloody hell, I'm fucking nervous about this. And I know it's stupid, but I still sort of feel guilty about Dad. I guess I understand why he came back from Peru now, even knowing that was really stupid and we were so mad at him. But I guess he just wanted to be together, and I know we're not with him just because we're in the same country, and it wouldn't make him feel any better to know what's happening to us in school, it's just...it still feels like we're leaving him behind, even knowing I know it makes no bit of difference to him where we are. It really doesn't matter though, because we're leaving, and it's what's best for Brielle especially, and that's that.
I want to go to Neville's thing tonight, and I'm pretty positive I will, because this will probably be my last chance to see everyone for who knows how long, but I have to really force myself not to act weird knowing that and not being able to say anything.
What the fuck happened? Last year the biggest thing I had to worry about was Quidditch. I couldn't even imagine all this shit. Also, Arabic is bloody impossible.
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| 016. 15 March 1998 |
[15 Mar 2012|10:01pm] |
What do you lot reckon the permission slip is for?
WARDED PRIVATE.I guess it's not really going to matter for me though, will it?
It just doesn't seem real though that I won't be coming back, if everything goes-
I feel so rotten not saying anything to anyone, but I just can't. I wonder if this thing will still work in Jordan. I guess it should.
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| 015. 10 March 1998 |
[10 Mar 2012|07:17pm] |
Oh, how sentimental- Dementors took the pitch at my very first Quidditch match at Hogwarts, and now they showed up again for one of my last.
Despite that, what a game! Good job, Gryffindor! I can't even say I'm that sorry we lost. I think we both played well, and it just felt so good to be playing an honest game again.
WARDED TO HUFFLEPUFF QUIDDITCH.I really am so proud of all of you. I don't think it matters a bit that we lost, we still outscored them, and you all were brilliant.
Not sure what's going to happen with the practicing situation, but maybe, since they didn't technically say anything about cancelling them again, we can just try and take the pitch again this week? What do you think?
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| 014. 5 March 1998 |
[05 Mar 2012|10:14pm] |
How very kind it was of the Carrows to help my team work on our dodging skills. Nothing like the added pressure of potentially getting hit by a curse to keep you on your toes. It's so refreshing to see the professors taking a vested interest in our progress...
WARDED TO HUFFLEPUFF QUIDDITCH.As far as I'm concerned, that was still a good practice. I'll have more notes and feedback at the next one, so get there a bit early. Hopefully it will be more of a private affair, but I wouldn't necessarily count on it.
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| 013. 4 March 1998 |
[04 Mar 2012|08:58pm] |
This is the best thing that's happened to me in a long time, and that's no exaggeration.
WARDED TO HUFFLEPUFF QUIDDITCH.ARE YOU GUYS BLOODY EXCITED??
Not that I ever really stopped doing this, but I'm going to get to work on revising practise and game strategies tonight, so be ready to make the absolute most of the time we have on the pitch this week. Honestly, it's a win-win situation, I think, since we're facing Gryffindor, and a win from either of us will do a lot for morale, I hope. At least for a day or so anyway. That said, we DO still want to win, and we're going to give it everything we got. WARDED TO HANNAH.Hey, I'm sorry I didn't see you yesterday for your birthday. I was feeling pretty lousy after the Dementors and all, but I have your present! WARDED PRIVATE.I don't think this distraction could have possibly been better timed, but I guess I really shouldn't avoid The Issue. It's setting in a little more that this is really happening, or at least that we're going to attempt to make it happen, I really- I don't know how I feel about this. It seems like Mum's giving up hope that things are ever going to go back to normal. I mean, I can't really blame her for that, most the time I'm pretty doubtful myself, but...what about Dad? I know it doesn't make much difference where we are, there's nothing we can do for him here or there, and I guess if by some miracle the whole regime topples and he's still- they let everyone in Azkaban go, we can come back or he can come to Amman if h-...but it still sort of feels like we're leaving him, like we're giving up on him.
And there's also everyone here. I'd feel guilty just leaving everyone behind and not saying anything. I can't tell anyone, and it feels really weird, thinking that I might just disappear on all my friends, and what if I don't see them again? It's not like I'd even be able to write to them.
Also, what if it doesn't work? What will happen to us? I mean, it's different having a Jordanian official helping us out, but still. I don't know.
Then again, things are bloody terribly here. Would I put my kids through this if I had a job and friends like Mum's? Seems sort of daft, that. Not to mention, it's one thing for me to just tough it out, but Brielle has two more years. She can't go here for two more years, who knows what this place will be like in two years. Who knows who they'll have teaching here by then, and I won't even be around for her. What if she starts mouthing off? So I guess it's inevitable that we leave, because Brielle definitely has to go to school somewhere else, and I guess she should really be our main priority, more than Dad even. I mean, he'd want us to make sure she's okay first anyway.
But those Dementors...they were everywhere today, and that's what it's always like, isn't it? That's what it feels like, but all the time. How does he- is-
Alright, that was sort of exhausting. Time for Quidditch- shite, what about QUIDDITCH if I leave?
I hate life.
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| 012. 2 March 1998 |
[02 Mar 2012|07:48am] |
I-
don't even know what to say. Guess I should have thought about that more before opening this thing, but what the fuck- not sure there are words, really.
WARDED TO NEVILLE.I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but if there's anything you need, just let me know, alright? WARDED TO HUFFLEPUFFS.Bloody hell. I hate them.
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| 011. 10 February 1998 |
[10 Feb 2012|10:45pm] |
WARDED TO NON-IS HUFFLEPUFFS, RAVENCLAWS, AND GRYFFINDORS.What happened in sixth year Dark Arts today? I've heard some really...strange rumors I'm sure He Carrow doesn't really need any provocation to kick around small animals, so maybe we shouldn't give him even more of a reason other than his own deranged nature.
Finally think I lost all my hair. That was a waste of time, if I was supposed to be embarrassed or something. I'm proud of my dad and the fact that he's Muggleborn. I'll never be embarrassed about that.
[added after this]
WARDED TO NON-IS HUFFLEPUFFS.So I was talking to Victoria, and we think it's a good idea to go to our heads of houses about what happened today. She's going to talk to Professor McGonagall, and I thought maybe a few of us could go to Professor Sprout. I'll be honest, I don't know how much good it will do, but it definitely can't hurt. First of all, if there's a chance that they don't know what happened, we need to bring it to their attention. Maybe they can exert some underhanded influence? Or at least provide some sort of medical assistance? I don't know, but if any of you are interested, let me know.
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| 010. 5 February 1998 |
[05 Feb 2012|10:42pm] |
So there it is. Knew there was going to be a catch.
WARDED TO VICTORIA.So hopefully you're not too repulsed or anything about the idea of going to the dance with me. If you'd been planning on going with anyone though, feel free to just hang out with them at the dance (you know, assuming they won't be watching us all like hawks). If not, I think we can still have fun. WARDED TO HUFFLEPUFFS.Who did you all get paired with? I got Victoria Frobisher, which is fine with me. She seems nice, and let's be honest, she's real fit, so. At least it wasn't like...Millicent. Which would be doubly disgusting since we're cousins...
Speaking of which, family trees. Bloody hell. I don't see that ending well.
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| 009. 27 January 1998 |
[27 Jan 2012|03:52pm] |
WARDED TO HUFFLEPUFFS.Hey, has anyone seen Sally-Anne today? She wasn't in Charms, and I just haven't seen her around, which is kind of weird. She's not sick, is she?
And just realized Sally-Anne may be able to read this for herself! Hope everything's alright, and it's nothing to do w-
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| 008. 16 January 1998 |
[16 Jan 2012|07:39pm] |
I wonder how many head boys have ever picked a fight with someone in the middle of a bloody hallway. I think we might have just broke another Hogwarts record. We should be so proud.
WARDED TO NEVILLE.How are you feeling? That was really fucked up what Malfoy did.
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| 007. 13 January 1998 |
[13 Jan 2012|03:59pm] |
WARDED TO MEGAN.Are you okay, after Dark Arts and all? I'm sorry I didn't stick with you but I-
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| 006. 12 January 1998 |
[12 Jan 2012|11:19pm] |
WARDED TO HUFFLEPUFFS, RAVENCLAWS, AND GRYFFINDORS.So. In a hotheaded fit of stupidity, I decided to go to the Carrows to complain about Slytherin being allowed to practise, trying to make the argument that we all had to have the right to practise, or no one should have it, as per their announcement at dinner.
Well, as I'm sure you can imagine, they didn't find my argument very compelling.
Good luck on Saturday Ravenclaw, I mean that. I wish I could be there, but I will be in detention. So.
But kick their privileged arses on Saturday. Seriously. We're all with you guys.
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| 005. 10 January 1998 |
[10 Jan 2012|09:27pm] |
WARDED TO HUFFLEPUFF SEVENTH YEARS.So I guess we're going to be learning the Imperius Curse now. Bloody fucking hell.
What are we going to do? I don't think I can do it. Both from a moral and a practical stand point. Besides being terribly evil, it's not exactly easy, is it?
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